Kiss My Stretch Marks

We'll meet at the pool, they said. They were twenty-something mums. I was a forty-something mum. One of the bonuses of having a bonus baby (the baby you have when your other kids can tie their own shoe-laces and run their own baths) is that not only do doctors and policemen look younger but so do all the other mums specially in their bathers!By the time I was the mother of a bonus baby, my older kids weren't any help to my fragile body image blue goes with everything, said one of them. It was my varicose veins he was referring too. I began to wonder, if trim and taut are terrific, where does that leave soft, round and droopy (or drippy)?The messages on news-stands are loud and clear: yummy mummies look gorgeous and slim as soon as possible after giving birth and those who don't are likely to have their wobbly bits blown up on cover shots think Reese, Britney and Catherine, who incidentally was lauded just a few years ago for putting herself in the hands (or was that, on the treadmill?) of a personal trainer, just hours after her first baby was born so she would fit into her slinky wedding dress.Any big life change is a crisis point and isn't having a baby one of the biggest changes of all? Crisis points undermine our confidence so that we can feel especially vulnerable when people make comments about our bodies. And, from the moment a pregnancy becomes visible, you can be certain people will take the liberty of making comments such as my you are getting big! Or suggesting I bet you will be glad to get your figure back,(when really, your greatest concern is more likely to be, how will I get this baby out of my body?). Body image and self-esteem are so strongly connected that beauty issues become confused with self-esteem. Instead of being able to say, I feel unhappy, you say, I am fat and when you allow comments and unreal expectations to chip away at your self-esteem, it becomes all too easy to believe that how you look is who you are: that fat signifies an inability to take control of your life while a lean, toned body is a triumph of order over nature's raw energy. Struggling to maintain an ideal body shape can be less about health or appearance and more about trying to feel in control. Soon you move away from being aware of your body and bodily feelings and your body becomes an object to be punished or rewarded (if you are a good little body I will buy you new clothes).Although you may be feeling extra vulnerable and keen to lose your mummy tummy, it isn't wise to obsessively restrict weight gain during pregnancy or too soon after birth. A pregnant body is governed by factors beyond the control of diet and exercise: your body shape and size are to a large extent genetically determined, and your partner's genes also come into the equation (if you have a tall partner and you are a small woman you could well carry a big baby). Extra weight gained during pregnancy is part of your baby's life support after birth too. It is better to think of your body in terms of repair, rather than depriving yourself of nutrients. It took nine months for these changes to take place and it will probably take at least as long for your body to regain its former shape (give or take, a few wobbly bits).Meanwhile, be kind to yourself. If your body image needs a boost, hire the video Shirley Valentine' and enjoy a laugh as the star's Greek lover points out how her stretch marks are badges of honour. As American author (and succulent wild woman) Sark advises, lets look closer at the size of our hearts, the width of our souls and the length of our spirits.
Article Source: Parent Super Site Article Directory
About the Author
Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant, infant massage instructor and author of Sleeping Like a Baby and 100 Ways to Calm the Crying. For her Free Report 10 things you must know about breastfeeding before you have your baby visit Pinky McKay - Breastfeeding Simply